“Cosmic Debris”

Some Sorta Title

You know, I think it’s time to dump social media.

Not you–you know, you do whatever you want–but for me, yeah. It’s really lost its appeal. I think I would have been in mega trouble if that nonsense existed when I was mega young. Today’s me is nowhere near yesterday’s. And if you feel differently, well, guess what? You never knew me at all, so stop pretending.

Ironically, this cassette I’m listening to called “On the Shores of a Different Time” from 1986 really inspired me to start scribin’ now. It’s a thrash metal version of New Age or Electronic music. Even borderline Berlin School if you will. I’m really diggin’ it.

If anything, I’d keep the social media accounts alive just to “announce” when a new thingy goes live over here. I mean, really, what’s the point? Everyone is so apart from another. People I haven’t talked to in ages only message me so they can get the latest Photoshop, or help them get a new computer together. Once it’s done, they just split town. That’s why I don’t bother with anyone anymore. If you don’t care to have a basic conversation, to open up and be vulnerable, then why in the fuck are you even reaching out?

In this day and age, it’s easier than ever to get the latest album, software title, film title or even a full television series. Why would one feel the need to reach out to me? Out of convenience? No need to sign up anywhere? Pfft. Fuck that.

I’m slightly this way because I’m hurting. My Linux partner-in-crime is gone. He passed away and I don’t know how, nor did I even have a chance to say goodbye. He mentioned his mother having cancer, but now I’m starting to feel as if he was the one. He was a genius; his love for operating systems kept mine ignited. He would get all sorts of computer just to see how Linux would work on ’em. Maybe it’s partially my on fault, too, that we drifted. I tended to give others more attention. Sigh.

I don’t know anymore. This pandemic really fucked with a lot of our heads, eh? People don’t know if they’re coming or going, and the superficial world looks as if it’s operating in 10 different parallel universes. Sometimes I’m perfectly content doin’ what I do, other times I question everything. I guess that’s part of the Libra way. And then again, I really enjoy my alone time, because self-reflection is so yummy. Yet with that self-reflection comes the need to write out wot I feel, so anybody and nobody can read it and quite possibly relate. That’s really why I do this. I know there has to be at the very least one other soul out there who needs assurance that everything is okay, and that they, too, are exactly where they need to be, doing exactly what they are, because that’s how The Universe designed their situation for the time.

And me? I still am in that “what the fuck do I do with my life” phase, hahahaha!!! Too far from society to be a part of that nonsense, yet still dip the big toe in when need be. I was PMSing a few days ago, and I wasn’t feeling too up to snuff. I had the memory of what I enjoyed when I was young, like single-digit age, and you know what it was? Sitting on my bedroom floor in front of my children’s record player listening to KISS albums. Like that right there was the true pinnacle of euphoria for me. And even back then, I was always looking for a better sounding stereo, ha! I’ve come to the realization that I must have been a recording engineer or record producer in a past life, because I have always been glued to the audiophile experience. I’m always looking for the next best loudspeaker, or headphone, or integrated amplifier. Now, though, I realize it was all about the deep, warm natural richness of vacuum tubes. That is my ideal sound signature. And I really believe have it with my Muzishare X7. I mean I really fuckin’ love the way it sounds. And using proper R2R DACs with it only further enhance that age-old classic warm and fuzzy sound a 2-channel system gives. Old-school analog at its endearing finest. And I absolutely love how my ears immediate detect the differences. I always go into new gear listening with a complete reset of the mind. I don’t have any expectations of anything; I’m not planting any kind of confirmation bias in my head. I listen and the information immediately forms. That’s how I’m built.

However, something that’s been lacking are proper people to discuss this with. You know, like I wouldn’t mind hopping from home to home solely to hear how people’s gear sounds, ha! However, right now that’s something I cannot do, because well, you know, this little thing the planet has going on called COVID, heh. Sometimes I feel the late great Pete Namlook and I could have these kinds of discussions, because he was so obsessed with the technical aspect of everything. Like for me, even though a band like KISS is fun and not serious at all, there’s a technical seriousness about their records. I don’t know, maybe I’m the only KISS fan on the planet that feels that way, but after you listen to KISS on a tube amp with R2R DACs, you’ll notice it more, too.

I also cannot believe how I slept so long on Alice in Chains. I mean I always dug their shit, but never invested, until Layne Staley’s soul my have invested in me for a short period of time in 2018. And yeah, I’m one of those Layne-era fans, but so what? Maybe I’m more of a Layne fan than an overall AiC fan. Maybe it doesn’t even fucking matter, just the music is godly and that’s what counts.

It’s just weird how everything I held in such high regard died back to back. Steve Jobs passing in 2011, Namlook in 2012, ugh, that still fucks with me. People I’ve known, former co-workers, like what the fuck? My mind is constantly shifting as well. Things I enjoy today I’ll no longer care for tomorrow. I’m growing, shifting, and understanding just how deeply and directly I have been connected with The Universe. And it’s fuckin’ nuts! Not in a bad way, it’s just mind-blowing. And to top it off, the last week has been very hyperaware. Like I know what people are going to say right before they say it.

So yeah, I don’t know. Just something to write down, some food for thought, if you will. Not sure where this was headed or what the intent was, I guess this was just something I wanted to get out. Perhaps now I am free & clear to segment intend on the next big thing.

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